chronicles of bin

2010-02-23T00:30:00.000-08:00

First you do what you are afraid of, then you get the courage.

i'll do it right this time ...

- the jester

Thank You

2010-01-27T09:59:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, being in the hot spot in an organisation, you need people to point out your blind spots.

Huey Yee is a marvellous girl whom I met in CAMP LIONS 2009. I am super grateful that she told me about a potential flaw in the current committee planning. We worked towards the triple deputy system and I love the carefully thought out succession plan. That's the organisational part ...

She is my eyes for calibrating fellow leaders morale, workload and life situation, thats people management part...

Thanks for looking out for me. It's true that I have been so busy doing out the blueprints that I totally overlooked my own farewell party.

I thought I would just leave silently but thanks for providing me the reasons why I shouldn't

Thank you ... truly :)

Super Sunday!

2010-01-27T08:53:00.000-08:00

Spectacular Vibes on Sunday.

At PES, Bro Yap Kheng Guan was giving a talk on a member of the animal kingdom, the horn birds. About 15 minutes into his talk, I was wondering how did this have any relation towards Dhamma. The revelation came when he linked it to the human life, revealing how privileged we are. You see, we do not need to worry about our survival on a day to day basis, which leaves us an abundance of time to focus on cultivating ourselves spiritually. Our human lives is akin to the probability of a blind tortise having a float caught around his neck in a vast ocean, as it surfaces every 100 years. In a nutshell, VERY rare .... The atmosphere was Ratna in nature, I felt so uplifted, it was like the Dhamma Hall was bright with yellow.

Met Yiwei and Amy on the route to SBM (Singapore Buddhist Mission). I am so so EXCITED!!! The first meeting of CAMP LIONS has began! Personally I can't wait to see how the dynamics of different buddhist groups coming together for a project. The propect of us scrapping our Mid Year Camp and having a combined MEG Inter Buddhist Group Camp next year is simply mind blowing. It's a pity I can take up a role for this camp, but such is the impermanence of life. I had a good chat with the SBM people after the meeting. The feeling was so good! In addition, Zeming's sister was giving me tips on survival in Monash and Kevin linked me up with his Melbourne-based friend. I will not be there for the 6th Feb Talk, but I KNOW that this year's camp is a success. Be there in spirit :)

Had a pre-dinner with Perry at Seah Im Food Centre. For both of us, the moment we enter BFY, we had to run. Never stop running till today... possibly till the day I leave.

Dinner with BFY. Had a deep talk with RESH. he was my inspiration towards continuing my participation in BFY during the initial stage. I am deeply grateful towards that. I learnt alot through vibing with him. Truly excellent. :)

ONE MORE MONTH!!!

2010-01-03T21:51:00.000-08:00

I'm back from Perth! 2 weeks in a childhood familiar place has just zoomed past and I find myself a month away from Melbourne. Devonshire Tea, Boxing Day shopping, family gatherings have made a nice trip to the sleepy (albeit facing raising inflation rates) city of Australia.

One more month for outings, one more month for BFY activities & projects, one more month to strengthen the current bonds & network, one more month for business & investing, one more month for parties, one more month to be socially calibrated, one more month to be spiritually cultivated, one more month to be be fit as a horse....

Happy January to ALL! :)

2009-12-18T02:16:00.000-08:00

Our interaction - 7 months late ...

Hellooo!

2009-12-16T05:25:00.000-08:00

Suddenly, I remembered my karate days ...

2009-12-16T04:52:00.000-08:00

It has been a whirlwind of events and we find ourselves knocking on 2010's door.

1 1/2 month has elapsed since escaping from the bunks of SGC. As I reflect back on my freedom days, I find myself immersed with joy not through the achievements I have made, but rather the lives I have touched and improved on. Along with some of the street smart skills I accquired in army, I have truly leveled up ...

Perth, the trip I have been looking forward to this year. I knew a few milestone would have passed by the time I reached you. I can tell little Lachlan and Mikayla that I am a free man now :)

clearing stuff

2009-11-11T23:49:00.000-08:00

Having the benefit of time, I have been clearing my room. I found 2 rice cookers in my cupboard, kept for a good number of years. Also, I have been throwing away small junk in my room which i have been collecting (key chains, nick-nags from exhibitions and display since young) and have a certain attachment to it. However, that has to go...

Clearing mail too ... I have been getting load and I really mean LOADS of newsletter, some with invaluable gold stuff while some are plain selling. I am gonna set aside one afternoon to sort of the contents and form the information jigsaw puzzle. I also went through my inbox from 7 years ago. It's so fascinating to view my thought patterns then. Funny, childish, innocent stuff. It ranged from Karate friends, karate team information, friendster, astrology .... BF stuff till present.

Daydream delusion, limousine eyelash
Oh baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
I'm a delusion angel
I'm a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don't want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we're going
Lodged in life
Like branches in a river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I carry you
You'll carry me
That's how it could be
Don't you know me?
Don't you know me by now?

the man finally moved ...

2009-11-11T23:29:00.000-08:00

After so many months of booking in and out, experiencing life in the bunks of SGC, I was finally freed on Friday. I left exactly how I wanted to leave, in a quiet and non-significant fashion. Over these 2 years, I have met less than a handful of friends whom I will carry with to the next stage of my life. But I'm grateful. I have met with irrational people and learnt how to cope with them, but I'm grateful. I might have lost 2 years of my life which I could have used for so many activities, but I'm grateful. Without army, I would not have cracked up in my shell, took the spiritual plunge and gone on to help so many others in the Dhamma community. For that, I'm grateful.

Thinking back, it was that text message from Samantha Anne Leong telling me that she chose to go out with her "other friend" instead of me that pushed me to attend the first of the many BFY sessions. That faithful day, I die die wanted to leave the house and have some company after a long week of army stuff. After that failed outing, I realised at that moment that I had no one else to go out with, no thanks to a non existant social life from being a student athlete. That was when I took up my brothers offer to join a BFY session. I am grateful for your flake. :)

The transition into civilian life has been seamless. I have been so caught up with BFY stuff. It's not so much about being given the Youth Head position. But rather, getting freed from army has been a load off my back and I now have the energy to make changes. Sometimes it's like a sprint, because you wish you had more time to run this race. But it's ok, I'm ready for Melbourne :)

When I ORD

2009-09-18T01:24:00.000-07:00

When I ORD

Nov
21st BF Aniversary
Driving

Dec
Driving Test
Perth

Jan
Buddhist Exchange Programme in Malaysia

Feb
Farewell Party
Pack up

Also: Dance, Stock Market, Gym, Meditate, Cook

VIBES!!

2009-09-04T06:23:00.000-07:00

Hey,

a month have zoomed by. August has been work crazy, imagine working from 6am till 11 pm for an allowance of $400+ a month. Not forgetting regimentation plus having to deal with irrational people. Sounds like a raw deal to me. At least, I'm pretty sure the toughest period has passed and I have about 2 months left of bunk life to go.

The last 2 months has been a total image change / reconstruction. There was a string of consecutive weekends where I would buy a new article of clothing to add to my closet. I have never really been a fan of shopping but somehow got hooked into retail therapy, albeit after the GSS (Great Singapore Sale). I am pretty satisfied with the clothing I have now, though clothes can never make one complete, but its always important to make a good impression and have a certain sense of "put-together-ness"

I have gotten a new pastime. It involves researching and putting to practice on field. It's not a widely socially accepted pastime or for the timid. This game is 100 times more difficult than most people can imagine, yet its 1,000 times more rewarding. Connecting with the wider humanity is a humbling challenge. Perhaps Im just preparing myself for the next stage of my life. I was never really involved in "mainstream" stuff nor termed totally socially adept, but this game is here to transform me, and I know its for the better.

Last week I got to meet up with my Ah Koh and family. To be honest, Lachlan seems to be the same since I last saw him. The only thing was that he grew out of "Thomas the Chu Chu Train" because he says its too childish. Mikayla has grown noticably from an inactive baby girl to a mischievous toddler who contantly bullies her older brother. Ah Koh and Uncle Rob are still the same as ever. They are one of the most pleasant couples I have ever known. As a child, I was always worried that Ah Koh would change into an grumpy old mom after having kids but thankfully it has never materialised. Meeting time is like meeting up with old friends, I am so so so happy that they are happy and healthy, that's all I ever wish for. :)

Sometimes in life, it just take a single period where a host of causes and effects has the most profound of change on you. You learn that people don't wait, even if you have the noblest of intent for them. It's ok if you don't want to talk to me anymore. I still love you cause I understand. I love myself. Such is the nature of life - impermanence.

I cant wait for Perth! I really really cant wait for Perth!

in the meantime ... BASK IN THE COLLECTIVE ENERGY OF POSTIVE VIBES!

Peace out, Bin

2009-07-27T06:22:00.000-07:00

Hello World! :)

I have not been blogging too often so it's good to be back. Life in camp has never been good nor do I ever expect it to improve. I am simply grateful that I have around 3 months left and I'm about to reach the 100 day mark in 2 days time.

In the past few weeks, I have faced disappointments which has triggered deep fears inside me. Glad to say that I have been pretty mindful of my thoughts so its a good way to start in combating the slump. I have been drawing strength from year 2007 when I had to wear the "tougher than tough" mentality while facing A levels and SEA games (karate). This time round, its BFY and Army. Neither year is tougher than the other, its just striving for a worthy cause accompanied with suffering. At the moment, I am simply utilizing my karmic energy to drive through it while taking care of the Padma bits. The ball game gives me the adrenaline rush, sometimes I get burnt but usually I'm lovin it! :D

Currently, I am part of the planners for the 21st BFY Anniversary Dinner. I just got off the phone with a dance teacher called "Tamil". He is really passionate about establishing the dance scene in Singapore, akin to me and Buddhism (and Karate). This idea of a mass dance is hitting me at a great frequency and I am really keen for this to be executed.

In the coming weeks, I pray for BFY programme to stablize and mature. Because of the nature where I am entitled to 2 days a week of "book out" time, I tend to be very to the point in getting the things done. I do wish I had more time/space to be more fun, organize gatherings and socialize more but it's simply not that possible at the moment. Thanks to my fellow group leaders for helping keep the group together while I'm occupied with macro matters. :D

Dear, it was really difficult for me to tell you that I'm leaving next year. I understand you have faced so many heartbreaks of friends leaving your life when they embarked on an overseas education. So it will not be fair to you if I suddenly disappeared one day. Hence, its only right I told you. Perhaps, one day in the future with the right conditions, you will never know ...

"If one day you wake up and you're missing me, and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be ..."

Notes from the universe

2009-07-13T02:44:00.000-07:00

"Ever wonder why you can see the world more clearly than others? - To help"

I have been spending the past 2 Friday nights at EFT sessions with Perry. EFT is basically tapping techniques used to clear negative emotions in our body. Personally, these support group sessions are exciting to me and it has sparked a road of great self discovery which is much different from the Buddhist's teachings towards enlightenment path. EFT has so much potential to change the world for the great good and if I do become a psychologist one day, this will be one of my main tools to help my clients.

The past few months, I have been involved in the intense building up of BFY. There has been a lot happenings. Too many to mention. At this moment, I am just happy that we are given the opportunity to succeed. The pressure on everyone is immense at time and its beautiful to see how individuals react and respond. The adrenaline rush from BFY gives me a reason to spring out of bed everyday cause I know its worth living for. Like what Ajahn Cattamalo mention "Go for the 10% victories!" That's exactly what I'm striving for and making it count towards the cause. =)

I'm the man who can't be moved for the next 116 days! Stuck in the bunks of SGC ....

BF Mid year 2009 =)

2009-06-28T05:43:00.000-07:00

the "Preening"

2009-06-19T20:37:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

I am in camp doing duty so decided not to waste time by "preening" my blog. As you can see, I have added and arrange contacts in alphabetical order so that it will be easier for you (and me) to locate address. Perhaps its time to find another blog skin, im considering that at the moment.

Its amusing how insecure adults are sometimes. Using cabinets and cupboards to form mazes and fortresses in an office. Go figure ...

Peace out,

Bin

30 hour famine

2009-06-10T02:10:00.000-07:00

Hello world!

I am back in camp after 2 great camps from last weekend. The hectic schedule of 2 camps in a space of 5 days has left me slightly tired but entirely satisfied. Somehow I do not need much sleeping or eating recovery as expected.

30 hour famine camp - part of the reason why i joined was because it was held at my secondary school (barker). The concept of this camp is to let students experience a refugee camp's environment as well as feel the stigma as a HIV carrier. I was a facilitator for a group of JC students which included 2 of my juniors. I am quite proud of my group, we made use of the tennis court nets to build a make shift shelter. somemore, we had no materials to begin with and by the time we started production, the materials were all "sold out".

Personally, I would have preferred to take on the role of a game master. In the sense that you can mingle with the larger faci's pool rather than mainly your own group mates. oh yes! the plus is that you can go home to rest, barker is so near my house. Anyway, I am still rather grateful that I had opportunities to meet people. like explaining to the tampines heartlanders that the old clothes and newspapers which they donate would go to helping the slum people in developing countries. That alone generates good karma and Im all for it.

The concert was quite an idea! but if only they had arranged transport to fetch us back to barker. As an english ed, I really enjoyed jack and rai's fa lala song as well as coldplay vida la vida (im learning how to play it on the guitar now). The dance item was impressive enough too, reminded me of my days in AC. Did not quite appreciate A mei's music though ...

slim shady

2009-05-25T17:16:00.001-07:00

The Tao of Marshall Mathers: Addiction, Depression and The Comeback

By Christine Stapleton
May 24, 2009

I have not been a fan of hip-hop/rapper Eminem (aka Marshall Mathers). There is something about artists who espouse misogyny, homophobia and racism that kinda grinds me. Especially when they do so in the name of “art.” I respect and defend his right to do so. But I do not like his art or the influence it has on his 10-year-old followers.

All that changed this morning. In an interview on the cover of the Arts & Leisure section in the New York Times Mathers speaks about his addiction, depression, recovery, art and why it all matters.

“I don’t know if I’m exposing myself,” Mathers told the reporter. “I’m kind of just coming clean and exhaling.” Yes, Marshall, you ARE exposing yourself. And I admire the hell out of you for doing it. It’s one thing for someone like me - a middle-aged journalist - to speak openly about my alcoholism, depression and bipolar. It’s another thing for someone like Mathers to come clean.

Recovery from any addiction does not change WHO your are. It changes WHAT you are. Mathers gets this. He is still Eminem and Slim Shady. But he is no longer a selfish, self-absorbed and self-righteous addict who used the First Amendment and his art as an excuse for his addict-behavior.

Losing your identity is among the greatest fears of a recovering addict or alcoholic. Who am I without my drugs and alcohol? Will I still be liked? Will I still be cool? Will I be able to do what I did before without drugs and alcohol. Mathers, God bless his little bad-ass heart, answered all those questions in this article.

“I was the worst kind of addict - a functioning addict,” Mathers told the reporter. “I was so deep into my addiction at some point that I could not picture myself doing anything without some kind of drug.”
Exactly. Whether it is sober dancing or sober sex, this is a huge fear for us and was for Mathers, too.
“The deeper I got into my addiction the tighter the lid got on my creativity. When I got sober, the lid just came off,” Mathers said. The result is his new album “Relapse.”

From the sound of it, Mathers has no intention of hitting the recovery road-show circuit. He has never wanted to be a role model and still does not - which makes him an even more convincing and powerful poster-child for recovery. Recovery is NOT going to turn you into Wally Cleaver. You are still you, but your ego is right-sized, your body is healthy and you are given back your soul.

I once knew a biker who got clean and sober. Another recovering addict suggested that he get his hair and clean-up his image. I said, “You do not have to. You are a more powerful example as you are now - a clean and sober biker with tatoos, a pony tail and half a mouth of teeth.”

Marshall, please keep making your music, working your program and doing the Slim Shady thing. You are a powerful role model, whether you like it or not. Thank you.

Christine Stapleton has been a reporter for The Palm Beach Post for 23 years and in 2006, began writing a column entitled, Kicking Depression.

i turned 20 last week

2009-05-25T17:07:00.000-07:00

hey,

I am now back in camp leaving a great party weekend behind. It has been a really long time since I actually celebrated my birthday in such a big fashion. After primary school, birthdays has always been humble family affairs till now. With the exception of JC2 year where I had a buffet lunch at Seoul Gardens with my classmates. Hence, I told myself that this year, its is gonna be different.

Initially, I wanted to book a chalet (Costa Sands / Goldkist) or rent a room at a cafe (Minds / Settlers). The psychology of parties tell us that we should have a few focal points e.g. ice breaker games, music, entertainment. My home, though large, can actually be quite boring without a Wii or a swimming pool. However, my home does have strength in terms of outdoor spaces (basketball court) and a large television. I am fortunate to know a few friends who were able to tun the party up a notch (thank you people!). And I am quite proud of the fact that alot of things at my party was home-make. The tiramisu and chocolate moussel that me, carene and hao made can challenge the commercial ones. For the record, I did not get to eat either cos it was all snapped out LOL.

Back to now, I am going for the 30 hour famine facilitator camp this weekend. Its held at ACS (Barker Road) and Im really excited at visiting my old school which I have not gone back for ages. It is similar to PES temple where there are alot of open spaces though different in religious ideology. I want to visit any shop which is still open on a weekend and eat the school food there! The food aint spectacular but its for the memories.

The week after, I will be at BFY mid-year camp 2009. Really glad to be a participant this time =)

From the 5-9th June, I will be off to 30 hour famine camp as well as the first ever National Buddhist youth camp. Oh and i forgot to mention that in between will be one of my dude's birthday party. Definitely cannot pangsei. Oh yes and restless @ ACJC too! I want to visit ACJC and view the completion to centre of performing arts (CPA). Gosh there are too many things happening that weekend but its gonna be great. So many opportunities to meet new people.

Lastly, i will spend the 13th to 18th in Hua Hin with my family. It will be interesting to observe how some of my family members react to simply being alone, stripping themselves of the everyday business. My first meditation retreat with Ajahn Cattamalo cleared my mind a great deal, I simply hope it will be as beneficial to them too! =)

alright im off ...
sent me love ... =)

birthday wishes =)

2009-05-18T17:12:00.000-07:00

Hey people,

Thanks for the birthday wishes and gifts. I have posted a few below ....

Jenny: hey bin! Happy Birthday! Enjoy and cherish the years ahead! Get prepared to receive a card soon! :-D

Perry: Happy Brithday rubbish bin with hole in e bottom! ajahn brahm says its a compliment ha! u've been a good mate, cheers to more good times.

Ben: happy bday!! may all your dreams and wishes come true. haha.. greeting frm your frens at selerang camp (zee ad i r sending tgt!) .. take care! seeya soon!

Zee: Happy 20th Birthday Bin! May all your wishes come true! And may you find someone to be part of your life. :)

Xinhui: Although you're going to be celebrating it in camp, remember to still have fun!

Jasmine: HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY BIN!!:d have a great day in ... camp!haha

Carene: happy birthday bin:) may all your birthday wishes come true and may u always blessed with the triple jem.

Hooi Chin: Happy birthday Heng Bin! Hope you have a great day. Can't believe that you're 20 already... Never ever doubt your abilities and always aim high! Hugs from your rellies in Oz. :)

Pam: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! WOOTS! you're officially 20... Sorry I couldn't make it to your bash on Sat... hopefully my ideas of flowers and potpourri took my place for my absence ;)

perry:bimbo+bin = binbo.happy birthday energizer airhead!:D

msn chat =)

2009-05-17T06:46:00.000-07:00

Wenjie says:
ok its almost 12pm here.. and im turning in soon.. so here's wishing u a very happy bday.. its really been a pleasure knowing u Bin, and im honestly very happy to see u stepping up to the plate, time and again to contribute.. u have a big heart, even if u modestly deny it, ur contributions have made a diffrence to the ppl around u. stay true and pure =)
Wenjie says:
oh and u remind me of myself.. cos i stepped into BF and started contributing around the time when i just got into NS.. so i kinda know (well at least i claim to know..haha) the hardships and the dillemas that confront u from time to time
Wenjie says:
ok.. im going off..
Wenjie says:
u have a good night
Wenjie says:
i mean 12 am*

2009-05-12T23:40:00.000-07:00

Of late, I have really lost interest to blog, the conditions in camp has gotten much much worse and I retreated into a Buddha state for a while. Anyway I just updated my journal yesterday, my previous entry being 3 months ago. Reading through it has been liberating for me. Since the start of my MC days till now (with 6 months left to ORD). I like the fact I have archived my thoughts, feelings and ideas and its nice to refer to them from time to time.

Meditation as been my saviour these few months. I have improved in terms of equanimity greatly and whatever negative information enters my brain, I have became more aware of it, hence able to apply the "know ... let go" mechanism. sometimes its no point trying to rationalise what irrational people do, daijobu ...

Anyway, I came across this story about 2 sets of parents and kids in a playground. Both kids were relunctant to stop their play sessions when their respective parents wanted to go off. One parents was scolding child A while the other parent let his child had "5 more minutes" to play. So parent of child A asked parent of child B whether he was trying to spoil his kid. Parent B said "Her elder brother brother died in a motorcycle accident last year. how I wished I could have spent 5 more minutes with him. Hence, my child may think that she has 5 minutes to play but actually ... I have 5 more minutes to watch her play"

2009-04-26T16:59:00.000-07:00

A missed call which lifted my almost-ruined day.

DIDO - THANK YOU

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay, my head just feels in pain I missed the bus and there'll be hell today, I'm late for work again

And even if I'm there, they'll all imply that I might not last the day

And then you call me and it's not so bad, it's not so bad and

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life

Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life

Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through

Then you hand me a towel and all I see is you

And even if my house falls down, I wouldn't have a clue

Because you're near me and I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life

Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life

2009-04-12T05:39:00.000-07:00

I had my second driving lesson on wednesday. Kinda satisfied with my performance because I hardly stalled the car. This coming wednesday, i will be venturing onto the road. Pretty cool yeah.

Fri was split into 2 parts, preparing for picnic and the picnic itself. I went to Carene's house at noon and we started to prepare an orange and chocolate cake following the recipe out of her mac book. I always felt baking was fun.

BTW, next weekend, im gonna join a dessert making class at RP hotel @ scotts. We are gonna make financier, chocolate moussel, tiramisu and bread pudding. Its $45 (a little steep) but i reckon its worth the investment. These kind of open classes really suit my lifestyle cos you only pay per lesson which means you can join last minute. Zee is joining me, first time in a long time we are actually doing something productive together rather than yakking about army life.

Watch this!

2009-04-12T05:23:00.001-07:00

the last kata

2009-03-26T17:46:00.000-07:00

The binster was warming up. Revising the moves which had been practised a million times. It would soon be time for THE performance, the last ever performance. He was visualizing the perfect kata.

Wearing his crispy Shureido gi completed with the light blue belt, he walked towards the centre of the tatami mat and took a slow delibrate bow. On the other side of the mat was Alexei Nurkenov. A Russian friend who he had known for a long time.

The stadium fell silent. Thousands of specatators watched intently. Why would they NOT watch? It was the WKF Finals of the Men's Individual Kata. But there were only a few present who mattered the most. The Russian team with Olga his wife and Alex junior his daughter, the Khazahstan team (default Singapore supporters), Jaap and Rene Smaal, the Vietnam team, the Lees from Malaysia, Kawakami from Japan.

Alexei performed first. The binster never looks at his opponent when he's competing. It was a practice taught to him by the sport psychologist to always focus on yourself and never on the opponent. When you focus on your breathing, everything slows down and you are mindful of what is really important. Soon there was thunderous appaluse, Alexei has ended the performance. It was the Binster's turn.

Kankusho .... he had always been forbidden to perform that. They said he wasnt strong enough, big enough, did not have the basics to perform a decent kata. He put that aside, caused it wasnt about he or the kata, but rather the relationship between them both. There was this unspoken chemistry where he savoured each move for what it is. So he started ...

The Kata had Vajra sharpness, deadly Karmic efficiency, energetic Padma, nostalgic Ratna familiarity and Buddha calmness. The perfect blend of energies displayed in a single kata. The mind and body moved so smoothly yet mindfully. Every punch, kick, turn was the last ever. It simply had to be perfect.

When he ended, he said a quiet goodbye to the tatami mat. The mat was his home. While so many competitors always choke when scruntinised under the fierce glare of the referees, this was where the Binster felt at ease. It was the platform where he could express and display his art, his emotion. He enjoyed the attention during those perfomances, it was like telling a story of defense and attack through dance. But he needed to leave the mat so he could recieve the results.

The 5 referees got ready to raise the flags. The spectators hushed in silence. The climax was reaching. It was time, in a matter of seconds, the world champion would be known ...

Freeze Frame ....

Does it really matter who won???

If everyone was able to put aside personal greed, politics, status co, sit down and have a cup of tea while enjoying the moment, wouldnt that be wonderful? Karate is suppose to be a traditional art, not a sport which is subjectively judged. Lets just enjoy it in its pure form, get the right understanding rather than trying to twist/chop/yank it into 'Olympic Sport' status.

2009-03-25T20:03:00.000-07:00

i havent really had time to blog about what happened the last few weeks....

Bright Vision - a trip to the old folks home around Sengkang. reinforcement that life is impermanent and we should cherish our abilities which we take for granted e.g. feeding ourselves, walking. also it was an opportunity to learn how to detach ourselves from what is ugly and what is beautiful to the eye

Synagoue - another name for jewish church. a great opportunity to learn about the jewish culture organized by a singapore agency to promote cultural harmony. I got to learn their way of life, beliefs and characteristics of their church. Really eye opening.

grandfather's birthday - he has hit 80! cheryl made her appearance using skype. wonders of technology. next year there will be 2 laptops on the table.

ftt (final theory test) - the test was surprisingly easy so i count myself lucky. now i just have my practical test to clear. YAY! first driving lesson is tmr =)

Mr ben twoon - met up with my gui ren. sometimes its just fate that you met the right person at the right time. so many things turned out ok beacuse of him. im grateful and wiser now.

class outing at settlers cafe - rather than playing board games, we just chit chat. just realised that so many of us are doing psychology. gosh, hope the market does not become saturated.

karate tournament - last looks

mindful eating

2009-03-17T16:32:00.000-07:00

There’s a funny cartoon out there of some cows in a pasture eating grass. One cow’s head is lifted up with a sense of horror on his face and the caption reads “Hey wait a minute! This is grass! We’ve been eating grass!” If I asked you, have you ever been sitting at a meal with someone or even by yourself and been halfway through the meal without having tasted the food? In my experience, the odds are likely that you’ll be nodding your head up and down. Our heads simply are often somewhere else, worrying about where we need to be, watching television, or engrossed in conversation.

This unawareness is the seed for making poor food choices, not to mention missing out on enjoying the food. This unawareness can also drive people to overeat as a way to cope with unacknowledged feelings and emotions. You may be in search of a “quick fix” that consists of caffeinated beverages and highly refined foods that burn very quickly and spike up the metabolism. Many people have learned to comfort and sedate themselves with food. Sadly our “super-size” culture not only supports these tactics but also capitalizes on it.

Since preparing and eating food is such an essential component of our lives, why not bring mindful awareness to this?

I had a client who suffered from stomach pains always complaining of a sensitive stomach. I told him that Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist Monk, has a system where he suggests chewing the food 30 times before swallowing (you don’t to count after you practice a few times). When he tried this he began noticing that his stomach didn’t hurt quite as much anymore because his food was broken down so much prior to hitting his stomach. I had another client that suffered from a food addiction and would often be found going to the bakery daily, buying a cake, and eating it that night. We practiced mindful eating with a raisin in session to experience the concept of slightly slowing down with the eating and beginning to bring all the senses to the food. She took time seeing it, touching it, smelling it, hearing it, and tasting it. She considered all the hard work it took by many people (including her own for having the resources to pay for a session to do this) to get this simple raisin in front of her today. In time, along with other work we did, she was able to slow down her eating and begin to eat in smaller portions with a greater sense of appreciation for her food. Another client I did this practice with said, “I’ve been downing raisins my whole life in handfuls, one after the other. And it wasn’t until now that I realized, I don’t even like raisins.” We both had a good laugh.

Go ahead and try this out for yourself. Whether you’re eating a snack or a meal, try to slightly slow down your eating, bring your senses to the food as if you were noticing this food for the very first time. Consider all the work that it took by so many to get it there today (including you). Whatever you do, don’t take my word for it, try it out for yourself!

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist and conducts a private practice in West Los Angeles. Check out Dr. Goldstein's acclaimed CD's on stress prevention, depression, and addiction -- "They are so relevant, I have marked them as one of my favorites on a handout I give to all new clients" ~ Psychiatrist. If you're wanting an interactive program to find relief from anxiety and stress, check out Dr. Goldstein's progressive online behavioral change program in Aliveworld. Dr. Goldstein is also available for private psychotherapy.

my version of world peace

2009-03-10T05:32:00.001-07:00

After reading about the NTU's stabbing, its easy to disapprove of this hideous and immoral act and condemn the stabber. This incident can probably be called Singapore's version of the Virginia Tech killings, somewhat similar in nature and a dark stain on Singapore's squeaky clean image. It has caused a commotion among Singaporeans as this took place within our shores, shocking many out of their comfort zone that there are mentally ill people around. For me though, I try to look at the Indonesian student's point of view and understand why he felt the choice of violence was the 'ultimate' and 'best' solution. Please note that I do not endorse such acts which involved the harming of human beings, whether self or others.

I do believe that the meaning a bad person does not hold ground in an absolute way, rather a badly-loved person. Would Hilter have committed all those atrocious crimes if he was well loved and grew up out of a wholesome background? No, I would say. It is because he was enclosed in an environment where he grew up deluded and confused which created the conditions for him to behave in such an immoral manner. He was committed to a cause which he felt was righteous (making the world a better place by getting rid of impure blood i.e. the Jews) albeit with the wrong understanding. If you probed into his background, you will find that he faced many personal problems which he felt were unsolvable. He was an unhappy person for sure.

Most people have the tendency to shun others who are abnormal or emit negative energy. However, by doing so in the name of self interest and convenience, it will create the conditions for more immoral acts to take place in the future. Perhaps, we are hard wired to mix with attractive people, whether in the personality or looks department. This logically causes us to associate less with people who possess lower self esteem or a dimmer outlook of life. I think this is wrong. Why don't we go up to those lesser desired people and tell them that they have likeable qualities too? That we actually value their company and work. If they are well loved and cared for, would they harbour such malicious thoughts?

I feel it is too much to ask for world peace. This term is too vague and too immense to be taken seriously. Instead, we should start being mindful of our actions and thoughts and act in a manner which promotes greater inclusiveness. Even if they would prefer to keep an arm's length away, at least we could show them loving kindness. Constantly reminding them that we are there to provide a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on if they are facing difficulties. Of course, I am not trying to impose 'values' or 'standards' on others or suggest that being mindful of our behaviour is an easy task. But we can take small steps instead of whining why the world is screwed up, why there is war, why there is hatred.

Summing up, we should exhibit a compassionate attitude towards him (although the crime had been committed and he is already dead). Rather than being fearful of such people with such unwholesome tendencies, we should be accommodating and understanding, which in turn would create the conditions for a lower incident rate of violent incidents to explode in the future. Simply put, when you remove the anger needed for violence, you remove the violence as well. Apply that to interpersonal relationships and international relationships and I will guarantee you a better world to live in. That's for you.

What are your thoughts?

Disclaimer: I apologise in advance if I made any offense unintentionally to any party or got my facts wrong. Peace out =)

justsupper

2009-02-15T01:23:00.000-08:00

Registration counter was packed!

at least someone noticed the board =S

stop pouting jen!

teaching jenny and samantha how to make cranes for their future boyfriends!

genia, perry, me, wenjie

our romantic picnic aided with stereo sound system

me, carene, huilin

2009-02-02T03:19:00.001-08:00

met up with kristal and rebecca on saturday outside island creamery. It kinda turned out to be a largely st margs affair where they met up with their secondary school english teacher and a fountain of girls' school talk kept churning up. Needless to say, I was rather quiet throughout the gathering but its interesting to see the other side of the girls. who thought rebecca could be so mischievous, who knew that kristal was so assertive when it came to protecting her prefects? We headed to vivo so that kristal could return her uniform which she got when working at national geographic. Ate at food republic (AGAIN!).

We parted in the mrt and i went off to funan to 'research' on a camera, ipod touch, and 'army' phone. I was really intense in my search, believe or not, i covered the entire funan centre and got the name cards of shops which held my interest. challenger took up the entire top floor of the mall and i had to burn calories to reach the ipod touch section. From researching, I have realised that all ipod toch 2G are priced at $498. The only difference is the 'freebies' they throw in e.g. free cleaning kit, casing ....

headed off to cheryl's goodbye party ....

carene's birthday

2009-02-01T02:55:00.000-08:00

mr tee and me!

mud cake!

thanks to me wahaha .... we celebrated Carene's 20th in Cluny park. It is just a walk away from island creamery. Although that park is quite near my home, I have never visited it so it was a good experience. We picked a spot near the lake but without shelter. The weather was kinda erratic, sometimes it was damn sunny and sometimes it was so windy that the plates flew.

it was surprising how we all had spontaneous fun. for example, the guys were kept busy with making the stone skip on water. I hit a PB of 7 skips. justin was by far the best and most consistent. later, we played Indian poker on the grass slope. most memorable was making the birthday girl talk to the tree. true to her bimbotic nature, Carene suggested that the 'flaking tree' could do with some moisturizer. haha

later we visited carene's law school and guessed who we saw in the study hall ... hmmmm ....

cheryl's goodbye

2009-01-31T16:14:00.000-08:00

strangers are friends whom you have yet to know

red was the theme colour =D

the 'last piano song'

Headed over to my cousin's place to visit her before she left for ANU plus her advanced 21st birthday. The group included relatives, poly mates and her latin dance people. We had simple but nice food like vegetarian noodles and chicken curry ... yum yum

Reminds me that I will be facing the same situation in exactly one year's time. gathering the people who i made close ties with over the years of my life. Should i have seperate lil parties or a gigantic party as a melting pot of all my friends ...

hmmm .. an interesting point to ponder about ....

jaye's party

2009-01-31T16:01:00.000-08:00

DJaye

jaye's homies, the guy on the right enlisted the very next day wahah

Lullaby by Chase Coy

2009-01-26T20:32:00.000-08:00

2009-01-24T03:37:00.000-08:00

THOSAI!

bin flew away ....

go away paparazzi!

lawyer by day, car model by night

the shops of geylang

fri night - met perry at the prata store @ farrer park. it has been about 3 months since my last visit to that stall and i really enjoyed my thosai (accompanied with 3 different curry sauce) and of course my favourite teh ping. headed to his home to kill some time i.e. watched ip man. we wanted to watch a while but ended watching the whole show.

later we went and 'save' carene from the zouk stalkers. poor girl was getting hit by many many guys at zouk who used lame excuses to pick up her no thanks to to her translucent dress ... enoughsaid. omg i didn't know some singaporean guys really cmi ... oh well, not up to me to judge. as carene had only 2-3 polky sticks for dinner, we went hunt for supper.

singapore is not really good for night life yeah... pubs like harry's bar and jewel box were closed by 1am. so we drived alot before settling down at bugis at some hongkong style eatery in one of the alleys. there were people eating steamboat at this time too. tempura fish burger was oily and filling. spicy ramen was sour. macaroni was bland.

Love Story - Taylor Swift (Acoustic Cover)

2009-01-24T03:15:00.001-08:00

2009-01-21T04:48:00.001-08:00

Goldfish

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Johnny?”

“My goldfish died,” replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”

Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your fucking cat.”

secertary

This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.” I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.

My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn’t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o’clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Joanne, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”

We went to lunch but not where we’d normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?” I replied with “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”

After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And I just sat there…

On the couch…

Naked.

Mac application

These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far…

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

2009-01-17T03:19:00.000-08:00

I just visited my blog and realised the last time I blogged was 15 days ago which was about new year! hmmm, what have i been doing lately you may ask ....

I have been planning BFY Vday 2009. I spent about 2 weeks planning and now its ready to be publicised! =) I am proud to present the details: justsupper @ PES from 6-10pm on 14th FEB. Priced at $6 till 1st FEB. It mainly an event to commemerate friendship so those single or attached are equally welcomed! Band performance, speed dating, gratitude notes and of course .. supper!

It is my second time leading a BFY project and I must say I have learnt a great deal from past experiences. For example, giving deadlines so that people will get their taskings done on time, which saves a lot of misunderstandings and avoid the awkward fingerpointing when things go wrong. Also, being totally thorough in the planning and excluding any 'ifs' or 'see how, lets plan on the spot'. Lastly, planning 6 weeks before the event is just nice because you need time to get the programme endorsed before it get publicized.

yupps ... pretty excited i am ..... =)

when we said bye to '08

2009-01-02T04:14:00.001-08:00

me and about-to-be-recruit baey

Our malaysian friends!

rit with his magic flute

thanks for the music!

my thosai buddy

After the Aussie trip, we rushed home to unpack stuff and made our way out to PES temple. I guess it was fated that we did not miss the celebrations. The plane even landed 30mins ahead of schedule. We unpacked at godspeed and managed to make it to PES comfortably.

2007, I was at siloso beach counting down with my classmates. 2008, I was at the temple for the buddhist version of countdown. No booze this time of course. If you asked me to compare the 2 countdowns, I will definitely go for the temple. I guess its more meaningful to spend the countdown with people who you have shared joys and frustrations doing projects with rather than with your beer mates overwhelmed in a sea of unfamiliar faces, bonded by erm ... booze? and sweat?. We had a reflection session about the good and bad stuff we have done throughout 2008 and how we can carry on our wholesome deeds in 2009. After the countdown, we wished each other happy new year. There were even certain people burying the hatchet with others in the room. They were simply sincere about the chanting we did earlier which was about letting go of grudges against those who have exhibited (or seemingly exhibited) misdeeds to you. I have always struggled with being equanimous (though im getting better) and I know how tough it is to let go. yes, i know how its like.

Again, I slept prematurely while the others talked nonsense till 6am, not before eating cheesecake topped with red jelly and vegetarian noodles. woke up and joined wenjie to meditate in the Dharma hall. The feeling of meditating in that hall is great, somehow I do not have the urge to figet or end my mediation prematurely or fill my mind with streams of thoughts. A great way to start 2009 with a clear mind =)

my brisbane trip

2009-01-02T03:43:00.001-08:00

one of the highlights of surfer's paradise was that we visited the factory outlet. I bought shades, 2 bermudas, 2 shirts, 1 thongs and a cap. The stuff ain't really cheap but apparently it is discounted. total bill came up $600 among 5 males so i guess it ain't that bad. I guess for clothes, I am really comfortable without real need to buy much this year. talking about clothes, one of my shorts spilt and I kinda had to 'recycle' 2 shorts throughout the trip which had washing in between of course. at least i am used to it in camp so its actually no big deal.

Movie world pictures below ....

Cavil is surfer's version of orchard road. But its classy yet quiet which its my type of place. Developers are in the process of selling apartments. The penthouses are going for a cool $2 million. too bad the street jazz dancing was missing as what was promised on the internet.

oh yeah i forgot to mention the 'condom' shop. In singapore, folks are shy to be seen near sex shops, they place delivery request to their homes or make quick and awkward visits during non-peak hours. In Aussie, the locals treat those shops like any other shops. hell, they even bring their kids in. I saw a middle aged women enquiring loudly from the entrance when were the opening hours. that's aussie for you

Tangalooma was not bad for the scenery. seriously its very picturesqure,the ocean has 3 shades of blue. The only discomfort was the rushing to sign up for tours. On website, it kind of mislead you into thinking that with the free facilities, you could have a very memorable and exciting trip. well, its true if you are prepared to be a beach bum. I actually wanted the blue lagoon tour where i can just relax in some quiet part of the island soaking up the sun and the blue waters but it had only one space left and couldn't fit my family of 6. In the end, we went for the desert safari tour which feature sand tabogganing. It's an activity where u lie face down on a board and slide down a sand wall of steep gradient and see how far u go.

brisbane - we spent less than a day there so the exploration was rather intense. I checked out the shops at Queen's street and Myer's and discovered that all the tourist's stuff were priced much higher than Surfer's. We had dinner at a casino (my dad has this theory that casino food is relatively cheaper and good so as to attract gamblers who are already splashing big bucks on casino.) We spent the night walking the Victoria bridge which bridges across the meandering river. There was the singapore version of 'singapore flyer'. well, i wasnt in the mood for that so we continued walking through gardens and got a fish and chips bite.

reflections of the year

2008-12-17T01:09:00.000-08:00

around 2 weeks time, 2008 will be over ......

before time whiz by in a flash and i say hi to 2009, perhaps i might add a few words .... indeed, these next few weeks will be a blast, i will be out to facilitate the BF Youth Dec camp 2008 this weekend. after coming back to camp for a few days (2 to be exact), I will be enjoying a family vacation in Brisbane. So before I enter my Padma state to enjoy everything passionately, perhaps its good to take a little time slipping into Buddha state reflecting ...

I find that its a tendency for me to look back and name each year the hardest year i ever face thus far. This year onwards, I will STOP. why? well, every year there are challenges, every year there are low points, every year there is suffering. This year is no different and next year there will be disappointments and suffering too, perhaps just a different kind. Its time to look back, look now and look forward and realize the beautifully beautiful and beautifully ugly incidents that exist.

My wish list - actually I know full well that craving does lead to suffering, but its human nature isn't it? We are never bloody hell contended with what we have. Alright alright, i have gotten new shoes, a bag and clothes from the latest Taka shopping spree.... so what else i want for 2009?

-Ipod touch (my ipod video screen broke)
-Apple mac (to do my university homework)
-formal function clothes including black shoes (no formal events in sight yet)
-funky / informal belts (for decorative purposes)
-non camera phone (my current one has scratches all over)
-a Shureido Gi (nothing beats the feel of crispiness)
-CD player (to watch movies in camp, video ez is near my home!)
-more photos (to add to my 'wall' in my room)
-to do a month's worth of community service in Thailand
-to bagpack around Asia
-to play tennis / dance (salsa / break) / cook / guitar / drive / wakeboard
-be a SICC bum
-a chance to have a swan song (cos I'm only as good as my last performance)
-discover more hidden foodie places in Singapore ( so that I can recommend them to my overseas friends rather than just newton circus hawker centre LOL)

the 5 energies

2008-12-13T01:26:00.000-08:00

I just chanced upon a book touching on the 5 energies which manifest in our lives .. both within people and situations. no one is 100% of any energy, there is always a mix within each individual and the amount mix changes with situations and environment.

vajra (clarity)
- blue in nature, prevalent in leaders who have a clear paranormic view of ongoing situations and able to look at both sides of an argumentobjectively, always like to be in touch with the latest frontiers, may have a self ego of 'I am always right' or ' I know it all'

padma (passion) - red in nature, feeds on the adrenaline of new activity/people/situation, live on their owns rules, lots of emotion. some may cling on to pleasure tightly and manipulate situations if deprived of them. a party is always welcome for these sociable creatures

ratna (enrichness) - yellow in nature. a homebody, lives in comfort zone and in abundance familiar situations. perhaps best personified as a peasant who works to be comfortable and have a close family (familiar)

buddha ( spaciousness) - white in nature, lazy bums you may call them as they do not react to situation. Its as though they are too lazy to bat an eyebrow. the good part is that they provide calmness in situation when the world is accelerating at a crazy pace.

karma (activity) - green in nature, always on the move doing new activities. prevalent in the singapore education system where teens are always striving to 'improve' on their portfolio. these guys are serious competitors were they get 'green' with envy others are accomplishing more than them.

i am sure u can identify with some ... if not all =D

the man who cant be moved

2008-12-13T01:24:00.001-08:00

I love this song! =D

2008-12-07T21:19:00.000-08:00

3 day weekend! I must say the extra day really helped alot. =)

I had a shopping raid at takashimaya. within just 2 hours, I bought a pair of shoes, a sling bag, a belt, 2 shirts and undergarments for around $200. They had pretty good discounts. I esp enjoyed the 30% + 10% discount at world of sports. Thats how my shoes and bag got reduced from a hundred to low sixties. just cleared a sizeable pile of clothes from my wadrobe and i feel much better with more space and less clutter.

nico, jiashun and i went to recce kent ridge park last night. Its good for night walk. nico's family joined us too. we found a few nice spots for night games. After that we headed to nico's home for further discussion. her parents have gone zen and i do like the decor there. haha no too spacious until u think your debtors cleared your home but spacious enough. penhouse is nice!

phew .. a few hours left .. some time for red alert 3 ... =)

bin~

2008-12-06T16:13:00.000-08:00

bin is gonna change his wardrobe!

yupp, its time to clear some of those not-so-fitting clothes which i had since 15 -16yrs old. haha.

2008-11-30T01:02:00.000-08:00

hey peeps,

another jam packed weekend! Actually i was looking forward to a quiet weekend where i could check out red alert 3, play my guitar and watch prison break. Turned out not to be the case with one gathering/meeting leading to another. Forgive me for my anti-socialness, I surely need some alone time when im back from camp. Nevertheless, im grateful for the people around me that continuously provide activities for me to do. Cos some people actually yearn to go out yet they do not have that priviledge so i count myself lucky.

I have checked my dec calendar and it has made me real excited! in camp, there is stuff to be done while the weekends have a list of events. I am esp looking forward to meeting a particular person! hush hush. yes! cant wait for next year to come. closer to my freedom date. =)

anyway, do try astons! its the western version of zi char. chicken cutlet plus 2 sides (choose from potato salad, onion rings, coleslaw, baked beans, fries). To me, its a good price at $6. the fries are esp generous. knock yourself out!

bin ~

2008-11-22T08:01:00.000-08:00

hey peeps!

I am at rit's house now. We are in for a soccer nite. Its half time for arsenal vs man city and im actually quite tired. sign, the man u vs aston villa match will be in the wee hours of the morning. hope my eyes stay open for it. He has this nice wide screen with nice sound system. If i am still awake later, we will test out red alert 3. =)

Yesterday i met up wif zee at bugis. We checked out some alleys with some promising yummy food. If anyone wants to go on a foodie adventure and has some budget to spare, do tell me and lets go for it! There was even a cinema specially for nc16 and m18 bollywood movies. Zee and i were probably the only chinese dudes there, the other peeps there were ... you know .... Of late, its seems like some people have been tightening their purse strings e.g. zee while others are still adopting their usual spending habits e.g. me. I am not sure why but the economic downturn has not hit me... not sure whether its good or bad. =S Anyway, I bought 'bread' =)

Anyway, today has provided a fair bit of exercises for me. I went for physio and got to work out on the punching bag. It was intense and mean workout and i lost some skin on my fist but im satisfied. the sports day too was nice for losing those calories. tennis, soccer, table tennis, squash, swimming ... =)

bin~~

2008-11-15T18:04:00.000-08:00

WOOO HOOOOOO!! ~~

my offer for monash - Bachelor of Psychology and Management/Marketing came in!

I knew that I was gonna get in cos i met the entry requirements but getting the offer in paper is just sweeeeeet.

tata .....

2008-11-15T08:04:00.000-08:00

shanghui obviously enjoying her meal

joan is sleeping and eating ... at the same time!

my dish ... dory fish!

An incident happened today. I was doing my physio on a saturday morning. Not knowing how to use an equipment (some leg strap), I politely asked one of the rehab people how to use it. His reply was 'even this you don't know, no wonder you kena from the officers'. I asked back 'What made you say that?' His response was 'from the way you put on the strap'. My reply was 'I would really appreciate if you had taught me how to use the leg strap first without making that comment'. After that, he walked away sheepishly without another word.

No ... I do not bear grudges against him. But im rather amused at how people sometimes make comments without activating their neurons. Hey dude, you hardly know me, my commanders respect me thank you. I know you have some image of me due to my mom who injects insecurities about her children into other people's minds. Perhaps you are better starting off on a clean sheet and knowing me for me. I know you would rather make small flirty talk with some athletic chick than talk to another of the male species though you have a wife. Perhaps that is your nature, I accept it with equanimity. However, lets be fair and base comments on real facts. Hitting below the belt aint professional. May you be a lamp upon yourself, may you be well and happy ... always.

anyway, after physio, joan, shanghui and I went to ps to eat at manhattan fish market. Actually its kinda comparably to fish and co, the prices are slightly cheaper. My classmate outing was cancelled ... jiaxin was too sick, ben clubbed till 5am and couldnt get up, martin and i had to leave early. but its alright, we schedule it another week then. haha ben better not spend so much on clubbing, if he complain broke one more time, i will knock his head LOL. I was damn shagged by the time i reached pes, slept on the ground for one hour while some ladies were having yoga =P Sigh ... weekends are packed yeah, the trick is not to tire yourself out so much that its not enjoyable anymore. Anyway, for those who have not watched quantum of solace. I advice you to .... STEER CLEAR! The storyline is hazy and I will probably forget the bulk of the movie by the time i wake up this morning. Yes ... its that bad. =S

alright have a good week ahead =)

2008-11-08T07:33:00.000-08:00

looks like indian will be the upcoming flavour at esplanade

they actually used fine grains of cloured sand to make this artwork

a group shot is always necessary .. well kinda

august and ronghan LOST .... without me =P

amazing this shot turned out well though i took it against the sun

i like those 'trees'. can i bring one home?

FAV quotes of Avenue Q

-kids stay at home and watch sesame street

-schadenfredue (german for taking pleasure for people's misfortune)

- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ..... 5 nightstands!

-it sucks to be me (come on people, singalong!=P)

-the internet is for porn! new sites * *, new technology * *

I guess Singaporeans are deprived of politically incorrect, impolite and taboo topic based performances. just looks at the overwhelming turnout! all tickets snapped up since june period. I do look forward to more comedic performances soon =) expensive but worth it

btw ... here is a real life quiz ... what can a drink stall uncle do that 3 young guys cant? Answer? open a bottle of sprit ... go figure for yourself =P

a note

2008-11-02T01:18:00.000-07:00

i just received a letter from my china penpal from the state of hangzhou. poor girl, she did not get a reply from me for 2 years, must be frustrating i know. im not dead by the way, at least not yet. Anyway, she decided to attempt writing to me again and this time she will definitely get a reply albeit in broken and simple Mandarin. Its as though my letter writing tradition had grinded to a stop. I have lost contact with Alex from russia, scoota from NZ, edmund from aussie and others from god knows where (gosh i need to check my address book ... yesh i found it!). in an earlier post i have explained how my tradition of letter writing began, now im proud to say its still preserve. =)

my 4 month break has come to an end. perhaps the normal reaction would be oh no, back to the frying pot. actually, i am pretty glad of the opportunities i had for self discovery. many people rush through life with no chance to slow down and breathe in the flowers for a moment. i got the chance. perhaps its due to my good karma, life hasnt been kind to me before that but im glad the good has finally come. I shall make some resolutions before i return:

- equanimity: accept all that comes after applying wisdom and mindfulness

- joy at last: cause there is no happiness in this world, stop the delusion

- contact lost contacts, perhaps out of sentiments or nostalgia

- reduce attachment to any activity, that means karate too. inner happiness is more important.

Lastly, i am grateful to all the people i met these 4 months. enough said, you know who you are =)

2008-10-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

wah .. sats is this saturday and I don't feel like taking the exam, havent even studied yet! I guess with my uni choice confirmed, its reasonable to take my foot off the pedal. =S trouble is the exam is $71! so ex!

2008-10-27T19:04:00.001-07:00

Wisdom is making the best possible decision, Equanimity is being contended with what comes after that decision is made

The real difference between liberals and conservatives (Jonathan Haidt, TEDtalks)

2008-10-24T07:46:00.001-07:00

I chanced upon this video on August's blog and so agree with it ! psychology is sooo interesting! !

2008-10-24T07:02:00.000-07:00

could you give me a hard elbow in the stomach one last time? =)

thank you

2008-10-21T08:10:00.000-07:00

went through my cupboards and digged out a stack of old letters. thank goodness for the absence of silver fish, the paper had slightly brown edges and were yellowish due to aging.

you were my first penpal. the first of many, the most consistent and longest. as a kid of 11 years, i had to cope with adults who i learnt later in life were imperfect. you were so patient, always addressing my fears no mather how trivial. you made me feel so special by finding out what i liked. in return, you told me a story of a lady fresh out of university going to london to find work. the culture shock, the events that unfolded which you narrated so vividly. Thanks for all those stickers and books. Thanks for encouraging in my business interest, yes i was so passionate about investing, i always had the dream of being financially free. Thanks for buying me 'The little prince'. you told me someday i would understand what it means and finally i did. perhaps when lachlan and mikayla are old enough, it would be my turn to return the favour .... =)

2008-10-21T02:14:00.000-07:00

yay .. U.S presidential elections .. so entertaining =)

2008-10-15T03:17:00.000-07:00

ajahn brahm

2008-10-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

2008-10-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

hmmm the theme of reincarnation.

Do you believe that the people you are with are the same as your past life?

2008-10-09T20:49:00.000-07:00

the naked shape curled up on the bathroom floor

as shower beads turned from warm to cool

thinking ....

miss invisible

2008-10-05T23:23:00.000-07:00

so beautiful .....

2008-10-01T18:41:00.000-07:00

United States Every day: so many opportunities to connect. What if you took just one?

http://www.pangeaday.org/filmDetail.php?id=74

Lebanon

After years of civil war, most Lebanese were coming to terms with their nation's past and looking forward to a peaceful future. Director Zeina Aboul Hosn visited Beirut a week before the war began. This film is a journey through her memories of Beirut – as the bombs started falling.

http://www.pangeaday.org/filmDetail.php?id=7

2008-10-01T04:14:00.000-07:00

I have been reading this book called 'perfect love, imperfect relationship' by J wel wood. Its very interesting in getting an insight about such a captivating topic -LOVE. one of the reasons why psychology excites and intrigues me.

Relative human love is imperfect and impermanent, just like everything else on this earth. human experience is always raw, unfinished and messy. Nothing last. Nothing stays the same. There is no final fulfillment that maintain itself once and for all. Everything is subjected to revision.

genesis of wound-

even if at the deepest level, our parents did love us unconditionally, it was impossible for them to express it consistently, given their human limitations. This is not their fault. It doesn't mean they are bad parents or bad people. Like everyone, they had their share of fears, worries, cares and burdens, as well as their wounding around love. Like all of us, they were imperfect vessel for perfect love.

When children experience love as conditional, unreliable or manipulative, this causes a knot of fear which they can only conclude 'i'm not truly loved'. It affects our whole sense of who we are by causing us to doubt whether our nature is lovable. Eventually, a psychic scab forms and we carry the baggage to adulthood.

since young children are so totally dependent of parents and have to view them as good if not their sense of security and safety is undermined, the child drops the experience of frustration, hurtful mother into the shadow of unconsciousness (the wicked witch, stepmothers in fairytales)

The Dalai Lama, exiled leader of Tibet which was brutally invaded and occupied by China, recognizes evil actions without recognizing the people as intrinsically bad. their deeds are usually unconscious and therefore helpless in the face of karmic force propelling their hurtful behaviour. Like the bible quote ' Father, forgive them, for the know not what they do.

If Stalin, Hitler or Osama Bin laden experienced themselves as loved and lovable, what motivation would they have to kill. Hence, there are no bad people, only badly loved people. Behind their aggressive facade, their wish to be loved is not revealed to anyone, least of all themselves. they judged themselves as weak and vulnerable for admitting their wish and hide behind a mask of pesudo strength.

There is no weapon for the realization of truth that is more powerful than this: to accept yourself
-swami prajnanpad

you will never feel loved until you love yourself
-arnaud desjardins

2008-09-27T18:09:00.001-07:00

HI Guys! =)

I know u guys are busy mugging away for your promos / O levels / A levels / EOYs yea! Its gonna be tough but hang in there and give it your best shot! Cos when you are done, an awesomeeee end of the year holiday awaits you. =)

Jia You wor!

lotsa lurve,
bin ^ ^

school lunches - after watching super size me, this video drives home the point

2008-09-23T03:31:00.001-07:00

2008-09-22T02:44:00.000-07:00

how can one be so free yet so constrained at the same time?

hmm.....

2008-09-16T08:13:00.000-07:00

How liberating is it when you get to see the 'hi and bye' people in a different light and environment?

It happened tonight and i had loads of fun. Rawk on people! =) Bet you guys were surprised to see my OTHER side too ;)

2008-09-14T21:09:00.000-07:00

web bot, sybil, iching, merlin, myans, book of revelations are showing that the world ends in 21 dec 2012!

of course we hope they are dead wrong. check out this documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYZtMwIPb4c&feature=related

its 50 mins so finish your work before watching k, if not it would be the premature end of the world for you ;) lolz

2008-09-14T19:57:00.000-07:00

hey dudes!

after updating the blog for bf youths, i usually get sian of blogging. haha. but this blog is too good to get dead and some of our loyal readers (did i have any in the first place? ;S) would cry foul and initiate a petition on facebook. (yeah right!)

I finally got a real chance to excercise on saturday. If you need a real life example of impermanence, just have a look at my body. haha. how perhaps 2 months of inacitvity (other than physio) turned the most *** bod into an average bod.

I must get on with my meditation regime. At the moment i have deproved and i tend to slumber. I am super lazy. oh dear oh dear oh dear :S

Foo Fighters - Walking After you (Skin and Bones Concert)

2008-09-09T07:24:00.001-07:00

2008-09-06T18:10:00.000-07:00

will u stay awake for me?

Bersnoopy visit

2008-08-29T22:09:00.000-07:00

Hi.... I'm at little boy house slacking :D ya.. that's all and he's very NAUGHTY !!! Haiz.. his room ah.... hmm cant be explain with words. ( meaning... my room is much neatier) Oh..... the swing... was FUN :) Kawaii too haha... last but not least... little boy was a good host :) lol...

~Bersnoopy~

2008-08-28T05:59:00.000-07:00

I dunno what to say

2008-08-20T10:10:00.000-07:00

im watching this show 'accepted'. Its about this kid who did not get accepted into any university he applied for and in order to save face (and his skin from his parents), he created a phony university called South Harmon Institute of Technology (S.H.I.T). I can really identify with this dude here. I mean im at crossroads man. Im not too sure what i wanna do as a course. Feeling defeated by the university process, i just wanna retreat into my 'cave' for a while and perhaps come out later and make a decision. Its not that im lazy (though i did achieve far from ideal grades) or that i have a heck-care attitude (far from it actually). Its just that i have not adapted well to the education system and maybe i need more timeeee ... oh well, at least this show provided me the laughs =)

2008-08-18T06:53:00.000-07:00

OUT MEDITATING IN THE RAIN :)

2008-08-07T23:52:00.000-07:00

oh nooo, seems like im putting in weekly posts nowadays.

ANYONE owns a journal??? Well, i started one a few weeks back. Bought this linen covered, smaller-than-A4 size journal book from kinokuniya. Its an influence from my fren rit who uses a journal to recognize and organize thoughts. Lets just say it can be a whole lot personal penning your thoughts into that 'book' compared to publicized blogs. At $16.25, the contents rather than the book is definitely the investment :)

met zee finally after 6 weeks. As usual, just talked mainly. Including any physical stuff is difficult at this stage, so we ate at Sakura. Im raring to go for the buffet next time. It means u can munch on those $3 plates which have unagi sushi, baby octopus and sashimi e.t.c. Considering i can whack at least 10 plates, its seems like a good deal.

tmr, gi and body shall become one :) the crispy feel against my skin. the daily experience of yesteryear which i miss ... I WILL MAKE U SING!!!

contentment

2008-07-29T04:57:00.000-07:00

heyyy,

haven't blog in a while considering that i have access to my computer everyday. Well, my daily routine now is to go for physiotherapy. I must say i feel blessed to be in my situation. Being able to use sports council services for free. Last year i was so busy training 8 times a week and did not have much time to use these 'privileges' as an athlete. Now, im out of karate for a while and am utilizing it so frequently. Oh well, life has a way of balancing things out isn't it?

I daresay now, i am feeling the most contented i have ever been in my entire life. Im really living in the moment, enjoying my interaction with everyone and sending out positive vibes. Im deriving my inner happiness through giving. My environment has flipped upside down and im really enjoying every moment of it. I stand and observe how the humans around me respond and react, always keeping in mind that suffering is part of cyclical existence. Everyone wants to be happy right?

2008-07-17T00:02:00.000-07:00

heya,

the last few days have been really slack for me. Am covering things which i usually dun have time for. Managed to consolidate all the payable guitar songs while discarding those with wrong chords or those that im unable to peform in front of others without hiding my face in the ground there after. pretty proud about my guitar pieces collection compiled into a smart clear file :)

caught midnight sun by yui. I had heard about the storyline and am pretty pleased i caught it in the end albeit not in the cinema. caught harold and kumar. caught definitely maybe. finishing naruto shippuden. plan to conquer code geass, another anime which i had a glimpsed of but the storyline looks promising. Thanks for those movies uploaded online, staying at home has become more pleasant, of course nothing beats watching it in the cinema but beggars cant be chosers (nope, im not talking about financial wise).

been 'indulging' myself with meditation sessions. glad to say my meditation 'stamina' has improved. my legs feel incredibly numb after each session though, far from pleasant if u ask me, though i enjoyed that sensation as a kid. I hope this can improve my mindfulness (rather than an obsession of leading a monks life). Mindfulness is so important as i have come to realise this year. i do look forward to getting my house in order.

trying to find out more about economics, business, commerce and what nots. There is a strong possibility i would end up studying a course in that discipline after cancelling out the rest. architecture? na. law? nah. medicine? nah. liberal arts? maybe, but i have always been science dude. science? no way, cant imagine myself in a lab suit trapped in the lab the whole day. computer? im kinda computer illiterate, blame my childhood for being devoid of electronic stuff. engineering? cant, din offer physics. sigh, suddenly my options look kind limited though i did one of the most 'open optioned' subject combi in jc.

2008-07-11T22:29:00.000-07:00

i think marie digby is hot! I caught her song on mtv yesterday and decided to do a bit more research on her on youtube. She has done several covers like rihanna (umbrella) and britney spears (gimme more). Also on youtube is a tutorial on the song 'say it again'. 5th fret capo, chord progession goes G D A C for verse and chorus, bridge is A D G C. Its generous to give away the chords so freely. guess u just won yourself one more fan marie! :D

2008-07-11T22:01:00.000-07:00

just finished watching the movie Sweeny Todd - The demon barber of fleet street. Its not the type of feel good moive that i would usually go for, but it has a captivating concept. imagine a meat pie shop that doesnt seem to be supplied with meat and above it is a barber shop which has customers going in but never coming out. pretty straight forward what goes on behind close doors doesnt it? One of the features that fascinates yet horrifies me is the tilt of the blades. vertical and horizontal could mean the difference between a clean shave and a slaughtered man. hmmmmm... and to think that i had beef pie for lunch while eating this. :P

xuan thinks im crazy for covering 30 episodes of naruto shippuden in 1.5 days. i must say the cliff hangers have motivated me to keep going. Its like seeing my favourite characters of yesteryear grow. I stopped watching naruto sometime back last year and never caught the momentum ever since. well, I have now 'graduated' to shippuden and skipped the useless fillers from episode 190 onwards. Sarsori is like the ultimate puppet master, i mean look at the amount of puppets he has, impossible to imagine :S. Its such a welcome to see Gai sensei's enthu-ness. the motto 'Better than i was a day ago, half a day ago, one minute ago'. Im definitely gonna keep that in mind when i rehab and train back karate. Naruto is of course the most colourful of the lot, I like the way how he wear his heart on his sleeves and is still so determine to become a Hokage. Part of his motivation comes from his lonely and unique upbringing while another part is his competitiveness towards Garaa who has become a Kazekage Of sand village. He hates Sai for being such a fake and is not afraid to show it. I surely bet there are people out there who can identify with dear naruto. :)

love me - yiruma

2008-07-10T22:01:00.001-07:00

2008-07-09T22:03:00.000-07:00

hey,

i came back from my shoulder surgery 2 days ago. have not taken my painkillers this morning, trying to see how well i can cope with the pain. It feels like the dull down version of having your arm servered and reattached. Doing basic actions is kinda difficult like im typing with one hand now, cant wear a shirt and bathing is another big problem.

trying not to sweat to much too cause i have to wear the cast for 17 days. it has started to get itchy and im using prickly heat to dull the itch. cant wait for physiotherapy to start.

im glad to leave the horrible place for a while. its simply disgusting and undesirable. I have learnt to show compassion to people who do not show compassion to me in return. It is an environment which turns perfectly normal people into babaric, bitchy creatures. however, i believe that all human beings are inherently good. they do undesirable actions because they are lost, confused, psyched out. I forgive them and myself. looking back and analysing what all of us should have done and said is a complete waste of time, i show them compassion once more because they are still stuck in the drudgery of that kind of life while i have the advantage of hindsight from the comfort of my home.

2008-07-09T05:48:00.001-07:00

Nagareboshi Shooting Star lyrics

Let's sing together!!!
this is Naruto Shippuden 1st ending song lyrics

Tittle: Nagareboshi Shooting Star
Artist: Home Made Kazoku

Romanji Lyrics

Sora wo miagereba
Hoshitachi ga hora matataiteru
Kono hoshi no hitotachi mitai ni
Samazama na hikari wo hanatte
Sou sou dakara boku mo
Hitokiwa kagayaite itain da
Me wo tojite kokoro ni chikau
Nagareboshi ni yume wo takushite

Koko wa itsumo no kouen
Yakei ga mieru
Suberidai no ue
Mukashi kara boku no tokutouseki
Nayami ga areba koko ni kurun desu
Ano koro no mama yume no tochuu de
Ima de kanaerarezu ni irun desu
Moshikashite koko ga mou shuuten
Nante yowane wo haite shimaisou na hi mo aru
Demo sono tabi ni omoidasu
Nagareboshi wo sagashite ano hoshizora
Chiisana koro no negaigoto
Ima mukashi mo kawaranai mama

Sora wo miagereba
Hoshitachi ga hora matataiteru
Kono hoshi no hitotachi mitai ni
Samazama na hikari wo hanatte
Sou sou dakara boku mo
Hitokiwa kagayaite itain da
Me wo tojite kokoro ni chikau
Nagareboshi ni yume wo takushite

Yoru no kousha nakama to shinobikomi
Koe wo hisome kanaame yojinobori
Hiruma to chigau kao no guraundo wo se ni
Mezashita basho wo "puuru" to iu na no umi
Mizugi nante mon wa nai kara minna suppadaka
Dareka ga kisei wo hasshite tobikonda
Yoru no tobari ni hibiku mizushibuki
Ato ni tsuzuke to bakari ni minna, issai ni haitte
Sora miage pukapuka ukanda
Me no mae ni aru hoshi wo nagame ooku no yume katariatte
Sagashita ne ano nagareboshi

Sora wo miagereba
Hoshitachi ga hora matataiteru
Kono hoshi no hitotachi mitai ni
Samazama na hikari wo hanatte
Sou sou dakara boku mo
Hitokiwa kagayaite itain da
Me wo tojite kokoro ni chikau
Nagareboshi ni yume wo takushite

Miageta sora ni musuu no hoshii
Ima mo mukashi mo kawaranai shi
Yume wa hate shinaku kuruoshikute
Ano hoshi no you ni sugoku mabushii

Hey! Sonna ni utsumuite bakari icha
Mieru mono mo mienaku naru kara
Sora miagete keep your head up!!
Hey! "Miageta sora ni ima, nani wo omou?"
Itsuka kirameku ano hoshi no you ni...
I wanna shine

Sora wo miagereba
Hoshitachi ga hora matataiteru
Kono hoshi no hitotachi mitai ni
Samazama na hikari wo hanatte
Sou sou dakara boku mo
Hitokiwa kagayaite itain da
Me wo tojite kokoro ni chikau
Nagareboshi ni yume wo takushite

English Translation

When I look up at the sky
The stars, see, are sparkling
Each giving off its own light
Like the people on this planet
Yeah, so I, too
Want to shine particularly bright
I close my eyes and make a vow in my heart
And entrust my dreams to that shooting star

I'm in my usual park
I can see the night scenery
On the slide
That's been my special seat for years
Whenever I'm worried about something, I come here
Just like then, I'm on my way to my dreams
But unable to fulfil them
�gMaybe this is the end of the line�h
There are days when I say weak things like that
But every time, I remember
That starry sky where I looked for a shooting star
The wish I made when I was little
Hasn't changed even now

When I look up at the sky
The stars, see, are sparkling
Each giving off its own light
Like the people on this planet
Yeah, so I, too
Want to shine particularly bright
I close my eyes and make a vow in my heart
And entrust my dreams to that shooting star

Hiding out in the schoolyard at night with my mates
We climbed the wire netting
The field seemed to have a different face than during the day
We headed for our sea called the pool
We didn't have swimming trunks, so we were all stark naked
Someone jumped in with a strange yell
The splash echoed through the night
�gAfter him!�h Everyone else piled in
We floated gently, looking up at the sky
Looked at the stars in front of us, and talked about heaps of dreams
And looked for that shooting star

When I look up at the sky
The stars, see, are sparkling
Each giving off its own light
Like the people on this planet
Yeah, so I, too
Want to shine particularly bright
I close my eyes and make a vow in my heart
And entrust my dreams to that shooting star

Looking up at the sky, there are countless stars
The same number now that there was years ago
My dreams are endless and crazy
Incredibly bright, like that star

Hey! If you keep hanging your head like that
You won't even be able to see the things you can see
Look up at the sky, keep your head up!!
Hey! �gWhat do you think of the sky you see?�h
Someday, like that shining star�c
I wanna shine

When I look up at the sky
The stars, see, are sparkling
Each giving off its own light
Like the people on this planet
Yeah, so I, too
Want to shine particularly bright
I close my eyes and make a vow in my heart
And entrust my dreams to that shooting star

2008-07-05T09:59:00.000-07:00

me and rit (the star of the nite)
thow is camera shy

all of us

some of us
admire the skyline, can u see fullerton?
im trying to act cool but i look like im on drugs

harlow,

just came back from a performance, 12 to 12 at esplanade just now. My friend, rit, was playing the flute. i like the dance sequences and variety consisting of indian, modern, malay, chinese genre. coming from bf, we were late, nearly got locked out of the theatre and we got seats all over the place. :S

settled along the river after the play. nice atmosphere with a band performing.

alright ... thats all for now.

class gathering!

2008-06-28T23:28:00.000-07:00

a mini class gathering @ esplanade yesterday. ate at this food place call sour puss ... hmmm ... *raised eyebrows* anyway, the occasion is to send my classmate, joy off to the next stage of her life which is to study at melbourne university. played a few games while waiting for food

2008-06-28T23:18:00.000-07:00

playing cai hong (rainbow) by jay chou on the guitar is turning out to be a challenge. the song itself requires quite a range of vocals. from low to high within a chord. im becoming more familiar with the lyrics though its in mandarin. the tabs is quite tricky, am only getting the into correct. the song is emo, sad yet catchy, i have been playing it like the whole week on the ipod.

2008-06-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

havent gone back to bf temple in a long long time since 5 weeks. this week's session was missed cos of some short-noticed sentry order. sigh .. spending 9 hours in isolation, opening the gate twice. lucky i got throught the boredom with walking meditation and ajahn chaah's book (incidently also on meditation).

got a ride from my parents to this temple in geylang (stop raising your eyebrows). its has kinda of a modern look with glass walls with a big granite sign that reads 'cheng bing temple'. resh invited me to that place. we were late for the session so people already took up their positions on the floor and were in the middle of their 1 hour meditation. i have trouble meditating for 15 mins, so an hour was quite a tall order, i was constantly changing my position cos my leg was numb.

met zee at thomson road. had a bomb prata and ice chino at some prata cafe. bomb prata is quite seet and crispy. i enjoyed it! then we went to liquid kitchen where i ordered a 'grasshopper' and zee ordered a 'shirley temple'. i think his drink was a better deal not only because of the volume but it has the kick factor. service was not fantastic, waiter was not enthu at all.

2008-06-15T02:22:00.000-07:00

hi guys!

another week of hardcore fun.

i found about about youtube converter. now im using it to bring naruto and bleach into my ipod to fill up those blank hours in camp. let the fun viewing begin. i never had time for all these crap so its good. lotsa catching up to do, bleach is probably hitting 200 episodes by now.

i MISS karate. there was this seminar where 2 asia champions from malaysia were conducting. i wanted to attend and leave halfway for bf but in the end it was too fun. army has made my legs heavy and less agile but this session remind me of the old days. i feel so free, so light, so powerful, so liberated. too bad the session was only 4 hours, i wished we had at least 10 hours of karate.

headed down to vivo to meet the other bf frens. we bought food from food republic and settled around the sky garden area. jaye, the korea kid from an international school taught me abit of hiphop/break dancing. i had always wanted to do that kinda thing but never had the connections. if i had eaten less, i would have been more daring. lolz. will leave the head/hand stands to next time when there cushions around. found out jaye lives 2 mins away from me. a sleepover looks imminent. haha. back to vivo, i was really raiding the food stalls at the basement. 2 beard papas, 2 sticks of pork balls, 1 stick of sausage/french fries, 1 big bottle of mango juice. hungry ghost season is here to stay.

sports day!

2008-06-07T21:15:00.000-07:00

yesterday was power packed. had SATS in the morning at ACJC. it turned out that kaiyi, joyce and gina (my schoolmates) were working as invigilators that day. its quite amusing actually esp for joyce who is far from the ideal student. paper took 6 hours (3hours45mins plus delay and breaks). some chocolates and chilled beach refresh drinks kept me going. there were blackouts cos it was raining and this lead to a couple of 5 minutes extensions. haha

made my way to farrer park. rit then brought me to civil service club. change of plans as its was raining in east coast. learnt squash from resh, he nearly killed me with his fast paced game and drop shots. so much for giving beginners a chance haha. i got hooked to that game, played with yiwei (school player dun play play) guang, ronghan and a few other dudes. went bowling after that. it was fun hitting pins, reminds me of the old days. using house ball sucks though, werid holing and nearly non existent traction. had dinner where we celebrated ronghans bdae with a cake. (the 'cake' was a paper prata with smarites decoration) candle is a cigarette haha. we r so resourceful.

last friday's 2 hour bliss

2008-06-07T21:08:00.000-07:00

got a chance to book out for 2 hours though i had guard duties the next day. i wanted to stay back in bunk and study sats but changed my mind and went to log 1 at choa chu kang with junlong and jin zhi. scouted the whole shopping centre for somewhere to splurge on a good meal. tried ajisen ramen and had no regrets. had the curry pork ramen (was a bit garung cos i dun really take spicy stuff), green tea icecream and white fish as a side dish. hmmm, finally some warm and tasty food after a week of cookhouse food (no comments about the food there). =)
with a full and satisfied belly, headed back to camp and arrived just on time.. 2159 (2200 was the book in time) =)

45minutes bliss

2008-06-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

booked out for an appointment at alexander hospital. dropped by ah mah's house to say hello to my ah koh (father's sister) from australia. I met little lachey first. he is as cute as ever, with ever so many 'girlfriends' and drinking from his thomas the chu chu train water bottle. then i met little mikayla, she was a little under the weather, leaky nose haha. chatted with ah koh for a while before i had to part. at least i got to meet them, better than not meeting them at all. got a kiss from lachey, a hug from ah koh, a picture for good measure and i was off to the hospital. =)

end of the mid year bf camp 2008

2008-05-25T03:47:00.000-07:00

beach dude
babes of the beach (lena pls stand closer haha)

simply picturesque
fivesome

jiahui and eugenia

yiweibeach life!

jia shun conducting ice breakers
carene and thow
movie screening 'anger management'
guang and rit
clara and justin

after a month of rushing and late nights of planning, this was the weekend that everything came together ... =)

managed to book out early cos it was family day. brought my acs barker clothes and posed among the campers as a 16yr old kid. i thought i look young so it would be easy to con them. i was quite right actually. alright, stop rolling your eyes, a bit lame too lah haha. we had ice breakers then movie screening (anger management) after that.

day2: angie's talk, we headed off to sentosa. burnt lotsa calories walking from siloso beach station, to palawan beach and finally palawan beach. it was mostly quite slack, we had games planned out in the moment, a couple of telematches, and a great dunking session (self explainatory). singalong session back at pes. its was a perfect way to cap off such a day. starring rit and august, the seasoned and proven musicians. i preformed 'sunday morning' by maroon 5, cos by that time it passed midnight and it was well ... sunday morning. hanged out with jiaxian at the rooftop, nice guy =)

day3: met resh for the first time in a very long time. excellent talk by him. there was quite a number of people who wanted to ask him stuff and he kept asking carene to pass his number to them haha. bet if he wrote his hp number on the board, his phone will ring non stop throughout the days. i din noe vegetarian food tasted so good, i went back for extras... greedy me. we had a 'testimonial' session where we wrote stuff about each other. i keep my paper in my wallet, its nice to read it time to time. =)

2008-05-19T03:21:00.000-07:00

hey peeps!

thanks for your birthday wishes! spent my day doing karate n meditating, stuff i never seemed to have time for over the last few weeks. really grateful for having you people in my life, will meet up soon.

A salute to swk team.. 15 medals!! wish i was there to compete but im glad u guys r performing so well =)

really looking forward to the bf camp this weekend. we hit 30 campers today and its still counting. new faces, old faces, everyone is gonna have fun anyway. (note to self: losen up, dun stress youself up by trying to make sure others have fun.)

dempsey road

2008-05-16T00:44:00.000-07:00

chocolate martini
swoosh

roadshow at orchard

2008-05-16T00:36:00.000-07:00

a pause in this fast forwarded world

2008-05-15T22:19:00.000-07:00

woke up this morning feeling shagged. actually i was supposed to wake up at 6.45am and make my way to the bus terminal to sent off my teammates, including my brothers. feel kinda of bad esp i havent met my karate club people in a month. too busy with other areas of my life right now. but its a little painful when u come back to a sport u were once so invloved in and u just cant participate as vigorously as u wish to. One person i would have liked to send off would be my brother, xuan. It has been difficult for him because he is usually a double gold medallist for both kata and kumite. during the last national tournament, he won nothing. my other 2 brothers are on a winning run now, hao has won 2 gold medals and soon won a gold medal in kumite. the next time i would see them is during the buddhist camp. man, i feel like im living in a different country...

had a chat with my grandfather this morning, its usually kinda difficult to find time to catch up with him, but its nice to find out about the latest story of his life. the universe is made up of stories, not atoms. we had lunch at beauty world, at a teochew store that sells mixed rice. had fried fish, minced fish, steam fish, lemon chicken, beancurd skin, taogay, squid.

2008-05-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

the block leave has been really tiring but quite fulfiling. the fact that im free during weekdays make it quite interesting where u meet a different set of people and the normal set of people who u meet during the weekends are unavailable.

well, i started off with a trip to Sentosa with August and Carene. We were on a mission to explore the beaches and find where would be a good place to hold the beach outing for the camp. scrapping the idea of hanging out at the extremely crowded siloso beach, we walked the opposite direction towards palawan area. palawan, according to carene, who suntans there quite often, is also quite popular with crowds so we walked on. Finally, we came to Tanjong beach which is apparently the most secluded area of Sentosa. other than a post saying oil slick in the sea, is actually quite attractive with flat land for playing our games, ample toilet and bathing facilities, first aid centre, parking space for the van. quite strategic actually haha.

went back to cityhall to group up with the rest of my members. the food menu we selected sounds real yummy like chicken nuggets, pizza, chocolate eclair. am abit concern about the food cost and wastage though. the minimum number of pax is 40 and i just cant bargain it down to 30-35. oh well, settle that later. we were in the midst of discussion when the hot mama aka lenaseah came. she volunteered to sponser the night snacks for the camp and treated everyone to starbucks. i had a $6 chocolate cake with molten choclate inside. glad that mainly everything looks stable now.

day 2, met up with a couple of my bunk mates for a meal at sakae sushi. the food there is ok, i din noe that u could order other $2.99 dishes using the computer so i kept eating sushi. oh well, at least next time i will know. Bert bought me a shirt for my birthday. it looks punkish and a bit loud but i always appreciate gifts, might don it on sometime later. the fact that i share the same b dae with bert makes me wanna get something for him too. met my og kid jiajing on the way to the toilet. she and another of my og kid (matias) went to jjc after first three months and guess what? they are classmates! cool huh... bert and i had a game of pool, hes a real fanciful hitter btw, always using angles to get the ball in. later we went to billybombers for cookies and cream milkshake. its like one of the ultimate tonics and its smooth to drink without any icebits which u have to wait for it to melt usually.

met jeremy at cityhall again. headed to bk at raffles place. i was really bloated so i just gave dinner a miss. been trying to get tips from him on how to ace that smu interview. jiajun joined us a while later. it has been a year since i last saw him. he looks the same just with a different hairstyle. jiajun btw is my formal karate captain, hes really tough to beat during sparring, like a real natural for karate. hes now a volunteer at the zoo during saturdays. he cleans up rhino dung (sounds so unglam) well, its one of the things he wanna do during his lifetime so im happy for him. =)

all the best =)

2008-05-09T04:19:00.000-07:00

dear kristal,

i know you will probably not read this post, but i want to dedicate this post to you nevertheless. it has been a little more than 2 years knowing you, since our first meeting at the bleeches before fun o rama where u just finished tennis training (u told me how much you hated running) and i was about to leave for malaysia for a karate tournament a few hours later. since then, u were in my bio class for the entire 2 yrs and wow, how much we have all grown up through this time.

its nice to hear that you r are going to university of western austrialia to study psychology. i am really glad that you got to study what you wanted. its your interest after all and i believe you will excel in this field which is where your passion lies in. don't feel too bad about using your parent's money to further your studies, i have seen how hard u worked and i must say u r not a bad investment. =)

i feel so happy for you. just remember to message me before you leave k.... and say hello to kangaroos hopping about.

bin

p.s kiwi ;)

tennis limegreen icecreamonacoldday polkadots wrist brown sd2 stepup haterunning captain hiphopdance jodipicoult beautifulfighter busride bookshop bleeches football tissuepaper 2sister1bro 5rowstotheback kallang takashimaya bishan friedyongtoufu basketball religion cooking lentor purplecrumbler

2008-05-08T19:49:00.000-07:00

Dear TEO HENG BIN,
Re: Special Review

Thank you for your application to SMU.

This year, we received some 16,000 applications vying for 1,650 places of study. You will discern that competition for a place at SMU is getting more intense each year. I and my colleagues have gone through the lot of applications and yours came up for a special review. SMU assess candidates based on our holistic criteria of academic credentials (“A” levels or Poly Diplomas), SAT (an advantage to bolster one’s academic standing), CCAs and a personal interview. Your academic credentials are average and under normal circumstances, it is unlikely that you will qualify for an interview. However your accomplishments outside of the classroom tell us that you could add value to the SMU community and may even contribute towards the nation. Based on this holistic assessment, I am pleased to grant you an interview for you to demonstrate why you have the intellectual capability and the contributory potential to deserve a place of study at the Lee Kong Chian School of Business. I would encourage you to grasp this opportunity well.

My colleagues will be calling you soon. Good luck!

Sincerely,

Alan Goh
Director,
Office of Undergraduate Admissions
Singapore Management University

yea... relieved to get called up for an interview.22th may is the date. :)